L Examines Misa
by rockangel160
Summary: L pulls aside Misa for a few minutes to do some "research." NOT lemon! Not exactly sweet...more awkward than anything else. Possibly LXMisa, the whole thing is really your call. 1shot


This is something that came to mind when I thought about the fact that L never gets any. Whether or not you think he was really doing it for research is your choice. I did the story in a weird style because this is supposed to be more funny than romantic. It's up to you whether or not you consider it dirty or science.

* * *

"Ms. Amane, may I have a word with you?"

"Does this have anything to do with Kira? How many times do I have to tell you I'm innocent?! I support Kira, but I'd never have the guts to kill people!"

"Trust me…this has nothing to do with Kira."

"Then, what is it, Ryuzaki?"

"I need you to do me a very big favor."

"Sure! I'd do anything for a friend of Light!"

"First, I need you to come with me."

(L and Misa walk to the elevator and go down to the very bottom floor underground. They walk to a room with red walls, nice carpeting, but absolutely no furniture except for a chair and a stool. L carries the chair to the corner and the stool to the center, and sits on the chair.)

"Ms. Amane, please, sit down on the stool, if you would."

(Misa sits on stool.)

"What are we doing here?"

"Alright Ms. Amane, I'm going to ask you to do something which you may feel uncomfortable with, but please try to understand that this is for research purposes only and there will be no photographs, video recordings, or tape recordings whatsoever. This is completely off the record."

"Ryuzaki…I don't like where this is going…"

"Ms. Amane, if you would be so kind as to remove your top, please."

"…WHAT?!"

"Your top, please remove it."

"NO!!! I knew it! I always knew you were a pervert! Only Light can see the real me!"

"Please try to understand that this is for research purposes only."

"What kind of research is looking at my boobs?!"

"It's research of the female human anatomy. I might be a genius, but there are still things I don't know about. Please, I need this for my own reference later."

"No way! Like I said, only Light can take a peek at my boobs!"

"sigh Alright, I see… I guess if you won't do it, I can just forget about it altogether…"

"Huh?"

"As you can probably tell Ms. Amane, I'm no social butterfly. I've never had a girlfriend, or even a friend for that matter. Light and you are my first friends."

"You've never had a girlfriend?"

"No. I remember when Naomi Misora got engaged to her fiancée, Raye, I was happy for her, but a little resentful. She could be an excellent agent with a brilliant mind and still have someone to be with. Raye was a lucky man. It seems every year, I grow more and more isolated from the world. I figured I just would not have the fortune of seeing a woman's figure. I just want to know what it looks like. I could see pictures online, but it's not the same. This Kira case might kill me; I just thought I'd be able to see a typical woman's breasts in real life at least once in my life."

"Aw, that's kind of sad and sweet, Ryuzaki…Okay, I'll help you, but only if you promise you don't tell anybody about this."

"I promise you, I will not tell a soul."

"Okay."

"You can begin when you're ready."

(Misa takes a deep breath and closes her eyes. She grabs a hold of the bottom of her tank top and stops for a second to think. Then, she quickly pulls off her top and throws it to the wall. Then, she takes another deep breath as she unhooks her bra and drops it on the floor.)

"So all I have to do is sit here?"

"Yes, or at least for now."

(L takes out a notepad and starts taking notes. Misa sees him writing and automatically covers herself.)

"Hey! You said you weren't gonna record anything!"

"I said no tapes, videos, or pictures. Don't worry, these are just general notes, and your name is not written down."

"Um…okay…then…"

(L continues writing, observing, size, shape, and examining the areola and nipple area.)

"Alright now, Ms. Amane, I'm going to be running a few tests if that's okay with you."

"Erm…okay…are they gonna hurt?"

"No, it's only gonna get a little chilly in here."

(L turns down the thermostat. Within a few minutes, Misa begins to shiver, and L goes back to writing as he notes the erect nipples.)

"Interesting…very interesting."

"What? You know what…never mind. I don't want to know."

(L turns the thermostat up again, and notes how they return back to normal after 23 seconds.)

"Okay, Ms. Amane, now if you would please, stand up and jump."

"Are you serious?!"

"Yes, I am perfectly serious."

(Misa groans as she stands up and jumps once. L scribbles notes.)

"Now, walk over to that corner."

(Misa walks.)

"Alright, now walk back."

(Misa returns to the center of the room. L takes more notes)

"Okay, now lie on the floor, please."

(Misa gets down and lies on her back. L looks down and takes even more notes.)

"We're almost done here. Just a few more tests and we'll be finished."

"Now what?"

(L excuses himself and walks out of the room. He returns a few seconds later with a glass of water. He walks over to Misa and pulls a water dropper out of his pocket. He takes a sample of water and squeezes a few drops on each breast. He stares at this for a moment before returning to note taking.)

"Can I go now?"

"We only have one more test, Misa. You're doing fine."

(L walks back over to Misa. He reaches for one of her boobs, but she slaps him away.)

"No way! You are not touching them!"

"Like I said before, this is only research. I'm only going to do this for a few seconds."

"Ugh…fine! Just hurry, and don't make any funny moves!"

(L takes a breast in each hand and briefly runs his thumb over them. He does this a second time before sitting back down.)

"Thank you, Misa. You've helped me a lot. You really are a wonderful person. I am lucky to be your friend."

"Absolutely no one is going to know about this, right? Especially Light?"

"I assure you, no will one know about this?"

"What if it escapes from somewhere? It could happen!"

"If people were to find out, I'd tell them the truth. It was strictly for research, and it was all my idea."

(Misa nods and then puts her bra and top back on. She leaves the room and heads back to her room. L goes back to the corner to finalize his notes.)

* * *

Something else partly responsible was this was when I watched Triumph the Insult Comic Dog go to ComicCon. He held up a picture of Boba Fett and asked "Who is this?" All the geeks and nerds answered "Boba Fett." Then he held up a diagram of the female reproductive system and asked them, " Who knows what this is?"


End file.
